16 May 2005 @ 12:35 pm
Mystery Science Tution Hike 3000 (BLOGGER 3-9-05)  
Wow. You know things are quite bad when a letter from the campus office of the dean begs for a MST. Hopefully this sort of thing won't get me in any trouble...if it does, I'll just take it down later and quietly slip back into the shadows. Until then, watch me poke fun at you all. The actual letter is in regular type, and my comments are in bold.

All students received this in their mailboxes today:

"To the victims...I mean, students of Seaver College:

After careful review of all available resources, and with the approval of the Board of Regents, Pepperdine University is announcing the 2005-2006 tuition and room board rates for Seaver College. Are you expecting the worst yet? For over a decade, the University has kept annual increases in tuition at or below 5 percent, despite more sizable increases by many of our peer institutions. Look at how much better *we* are because they increase tuition more than we do! In 2004-2005, for example, the mean national tuition increase among private colleges was 6 percent, with that percentage exceeded by local schools like USC and LMU. It's okay to demand more money because everybody else is doing it!

This year's increase for tuition, however, must vary from our typical pattern. In other words, we lied. Tuition rates will rise 7.47 percent to $15,385 per semester, or $30,770 for both the fall and spring semesters. The tuition charge for graduate students, and those taking less than 12 units at Seaver College, will be $955 per unit. You better hope the professor doesn't flake out on you half of those days. A specially discounted rate for Summer Block III in 2006 will be available at $765 per unit. Well golly gee, sign me up! The combined increase for tuition, room and board is 4.5 percent. Room and board charges will increase to $4,550 per semester for residence halls (double occupacy) on the 1,050-point meal plan, or $4,750 per semester for the 1,250-point buy-in. Costs for those living in the apartments will increase to $3,570 per semester. In case you're wondering, student employment is the second door on the left.

Higher education, like every other segment of our nation, faces continuing economic pressues. Because it's easy to blame the economy instead of taking responsibility ourselves! Pepperdine remains committed to making every effort to keep such increases as low as possible without affecting the quality of your education. Oops. These increases will enable the University to continue to provide the highest quality education and services and to enhance academic programs and add new student facilities and hold fancy parties for potential donators, and buy imported palm trees at 20 grand a pop.

We are pleased that you are a student here at Seaver College and wish you success as you complete the Spring 2005 semester. So remember, kids...get really good grades, fight your way into a high-stress and high-income job, and send us back some of that money as a way of saying thanks!

Sincerely,
Your DOOM
Dean of Seaver College"

Well folks, I'd like to take this moment to get down on my hands and knees and thank the Good Lord over and over again that I am a faculty brat. *looks up to the heavens with big wiggly shoujo eyes* Seriously, I do not know how half of the students here manage to afford tuition...let alone pay for room and board! And God help you if you're a law student! As Rei posted on article on earlier, our school puts students in the most serious debt for the longest amount of time. Ah, the joys of higher education.

On a really unrelated note...why in the heck does EVERYONE who calls asking for the Chihuly exhibit sound like they're aged 60 or older? Doesn't anyone under the age of 30 go see art? Or for that matter, does anyone over the age of 60 go see movies or read comic books anymore? It's not like movies and comics books aren't art, seniors! And everyone else...Chihuly is cool! It's friggin' trippy to look at! Way to enforce stereotypes, world.

Operator status: Busy. Bleegh.

Website reconstruction status: 75% That's right ladies and gentlemen, I am TWO-THIRDS of the way done! I've got a few more things to do to the What's New page, and I need to set up with the forums. What's going to be difficult is putting all of this together and making sure it works with the new server. I am hoping to get the grunt work done this weekend...which means the site may be up as early as next week!

Macromedia studio comprehension status: 57% Learned a bit more in class on Flash. Guess this education's getting me somewhere after all. ;-P

Drawing: More Organization members for fanart. I'm having the sudden urge to do some ballpoint pen drawings...and Lion King art. o_O

Writing: Will get back to work on chapter 9 of my KH fic when I'm done with this blog. Just finished the Deep Dive chapter. Hooray for tying stuff together! XD
 
 
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